NO THIS IS MY WAR!! Attack on titan: 

Eren: Hi im eren yeager.. and uh. Im training some new recruits to KILL ALL THE TITANSSSSS

*shows eren billy and dahmir in the forest*

Eren: Ok! You must “KILL ALL THE TITANS” i mean.. get familiar with the new odm gear... FREEDOMMMMMM...

Billy: Ok ok seems easy

*shows dahmir all tangled*

Dahmir: I dont think i got mines on right..

Eren: QUIT FOOLIN AROUND WE GOT TO KILL ALL THE TITANSSSSSSSSS

Billy: dont worry eren! I got this!

Billy: FOR HUMANITY!! FUCKKKKKKKKKK

*billy jumps off the tree and tries shoot his hook but end up falling and screaming*

*mikasa catches him*

Billy: AH SHIT! Oh! Thank you mikasa~

*mikasa shows her face and its all Masculine*

Billy: YO WHAT THE FUCK!!

*billy starts singing my war but changes the lyrics*

*in stead of “La-La-La-La Ba-ba-ri-as-ras-ti-ti-ti-ras-ti-ti” billy is singing
 “nah nah nah nah! Oh this bitch is face is very masculine oh my gawd” over and over while showing mikasas face*

*shows dahmir on the tree with eren on the ground spazzing like he seizuring*

*dahmir looks at eren*

Dahmir: Are you a Schizophrenic?

*cuts to eren narrating again*

Eren: These new recruits are.. a bit.. umm.. retarded. FREEDOM!!!!

*shows dahmir and billy in there dorm*

Dahmir: So bro what made you want to join the scouts?

Billy: Im trying to get some females on my dick but it turns out that ugly ass goat is hogging them all!

*shows jeremy with female trainees*

Girl Scout: Oh my god! Congratulations jeremy on acing all the training tests!

Girl scout: Ya! How do you do it?!?

*jeremy stares and everyone is frighten*

Girl scout: NOTICE ME SENPAI!!

Billy: THIS SUM BULLSHIT!

*cuts back to eren*

Eren: I really hate those 2 new morons i recruited, they fail every test i put infront of them.. ILL KILL THEM ALLLLL!!!!

*cuts to them in the forest again*

Eren: Final test! Hit the nape of these fake TITANS!!!!

Billy: Ok too easy!

Billy: TAKE DIS YOU WEENIE!!!!!

*billy uses his gear and tries to slice the nap but misses*

Eren: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MISS DAT! IT WAS RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU!!

*billy yells as he falls*

Billy: DO YOU NOT SEE MY EYES NIGGA?!

Dahmir: Dont worry coach! Ill slice the nape!!

*dahmir jumps and uses his gear and zooms past it multiple times*

Eren: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING????

*shows the titan dummy in the middle of the frame as dahmir keeps zooming past it back n forth*

Dahmir: Im!

Dahmir: Trying!!

Dahmir: To!!

Dahmir: Get!!

Dahmir: The!!!

Dahmir: Right!!!

Dahmir: Angle!!!!

Dahmir: WHAT?!?

Dahmir: Dont!!!

Dahmir: Worry!!!

Dahmir: I!!!

Dahmir: Got!!!

*stops zooming for a second then comes back*

Dahmir: SORRY!

Dahmir: I!!!

Dahmir: GOT!!!

Dahmir: A!!!

Dahmir: LITTLE!!

Dahmir: SICK!!!

Eren: YOU FUCKING USELESS SACKS OF SHIT!!!

*eren transforms into a titan*

*eren doing a bunch of screaming noises while billy is screaming back*

Billy: CHILL EREN IM ON YOUR SIDE!!

Billy: IM ON YOUR SIDE!!!

Billy: IM ON YOUR!

*cuts to eren narrating*

Eren: In the end, imma kill them all so imma let these TITANSSS graduate early.

*cuts to eren talking to billy and dahmir*

Eren: You 2 idiots came a long way. And idk how you managed to get this far. You guys are the most stupidest soldiers i ever met in my life. 
Why cant yall be more like jeremy over here??

*shows jeremy staring and the camera zooms in to his face*

*jeremy does the titan transformation*

The end.