Entry 19911023-3 - Bethany Michelle Krajick

_October 23, 1991, Milford, Ohio_


Once Fran recovered from the shock, she pulled a notebook from her credenza, flipped to the first empty page, and wrote down the date and time. She took a deep breath and let it out.

"When did that happen?"

"December of 1982, right after Kara's meltdown. When Steve went missing, I drove up to Chicago and Stephanie insisted she come with me. I asked Steve to make love to me, though he was reluctant. When he agreed, Stephanie said she wasn't going to let him out of her sight, period. She sat in a bay window and watched us make love. Despite her being in the room, I felt it was the most perfect lovemaking Steve and I ever had accomplished. Stephanie said it was like watching a work of art being created. Steve called it a 'virtuoso performance', which in hindsight, means something different from what I first understood."

"He was showing off for her?"

"Subconsciously, I suspect, but yes, now, almost nine years later, I think that was the case. Anyway, when we finished, Stephanie got into bed with us and we slept together. In the morning, I woke to her orally pleasuring him and watched her do it. She moved to kiss me, after, but that was a line I simply couldn't cross."

Fran took a deep breath and let it out.

"THAT was the line? Not her watching you two have sex? Not sleeping in the same bed? Not watching her fellate him?"

Bethany took her own deep breath and let it out, "It was a close thing. I was kissing him when he had his orgasm. After we got out of bed, Stephanie and I showered together."

"Did you and she..."

Bethany shook her head, "No. It was intimate, but not sexual. It was right after that shower that she told me how she really felt about Steve - that they were made for each other; that they fit perfectly together, loved each other perfectly, and completed each other perfectly. And to the point of her not letting him out of her sight for a second, she threw an absolute fit when he left the apartment to put the sheets in the washer in the laundry room. She and I had been doing dishes, so she didn't notice. When he came back, she went off on him.

"There's something else you need to know; something I learned from reading Steve's journals. Stephanie's offer to kiss me after she'd given Steve and orgasm with her mouth was generated by lust. She admitted to him that she was so excited she didn't think about what was happening. He wrote that in his journal, and I read it at some later point, though I can't remember exactly when it was.

"But things changed later that day when Jennifer arrived. Her parents felt she needed to come to Chicago to see Steve. She and Steve refrained from being physically intimate, but Stephanie and Jennifer were together, though Steve declined to be in the room with them. Stephanie chose making love with Jennifer over Steve not leaving her sight. I'm pretty sure THAT was about ensuring Jennifer would be the girl Steve chose. It wasn't the first thing Stephanie did to try to improve Jennifer's chances."

"And that's why Stephanie did it?" Fran asked.

"Yes, but also because she loved Jennifer almost as much as she loved Steve. It was, if you'll pardon the expression, a strange relationship. In some ways, it presaged Steve, Jessica, and Kara."

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what were the sleeping arrangements?"

Bethany smiled, "Stephanie claimed Steve, so they slept together. I was going to sleep on the couch, but Jennifer said we could share Elyse's bed, and promised she wouldn't bite...unless I wanted her to."

"You and Jennifer?"

Bethany shook her head, "No. I have done that, but not with Jennifer."

Fran took off her glasses again, rubbed the bridge of her nose, and put the glasses back on her face.

"You may as well just tell me."

"Kathy, Steve, and I on several occasions; Pam, who was my roommate at UW, Steve, and I. And, like Kara, I could do that with Steve, but never one-on-one or with anyone else. He's safe."

"I'm not sure that's a word I'd use for Steve."

"Fran, think about it. Forget social norms and Abrahamic views on virginity. If you want to have amazing, push-the-limits sex, Steve is the safest guy on the planet. If, on the other hand, you're a typical dad, lock up your daughters! And not because Steve will try to steal them, but because they'll go to him."

"And you think that's healthy?"

"To be honest, if I had my choice between complete repression of sexuality and Steve's lifestyle, I'd not only follow his lifestyle, but recommend it. And can I tell you a secret I've discovered, and one I'll discuss in my next book?"

"Next book?"

"About teenage sexuality."

"What's this 'secret'?"

"If society wasn't so repressive, Steve's list would have been WAY shorter."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because he was the one to go to for the thing which your parents, pastor, and most of society told you NOT to do, but which a few of your friends had done and said was amazing. You could have an outrageously good time with a guarantee that nobody would know unless you told them. I've known Steve since eighth grade and I can't think of a single instance where HE said anything to any guy. Sure, some guys know, because their girlfriend or wife told them. But Steve kept his mouth shut. The girls all told each other to seek him out. Even Kara heard about him from another girl and sought him out!"

"Are you arguing that Steve is a product of society?"

"Aren't we all?" Bethany asked. "Granted, in his case, mix in his mother, his sister, Jennifer, Melanie, and me, and well, yes. And leaving the incest aside, he's a successful businessman, a fantastic dad, a great friend, an expert lover, and, within the defines of his marriage, a good husband."

"You do realize that you didn't use a superlative there."

"Given the complexities of the relationships, I'd say 'good' is the right word. Actually, as an outside observer, I'd say he's a great husband for Jessica, and an OK husband for Kara. But you know what? He is what Kara needs, and she's happier than any woman I know, present company included. Jessica, well, you know what medical training does from your counseling with your doctor friend from Rutherford."

Fran nodded, "I'm still not sure how he survived. One of his friends didn't."

"Which led you to even more sessions with Laura than usual. You never told me the details, and I know you can't, but it obviously affected you."

"By that point, I considered him a colleague, even though he'd just finished medical school. And it wasn't just that, Bethany. He had his own personal tragedy as well. But we need to get back on topic. Are you sleeping with Steve?"

"We've shared a bed, as you know, but we have not been intimate in the way you mean. And, as I've said before, that's because of HIM, not because of me. Whatever faults Steve may have, he knows how to take care of me better than anyone ever has, and that includes my dad and Nick."

"How are you and your mom getting along?"

"It's not like Steve and HIS mother, but, we're not. She blamed me for breaking up with Steve, and our relationship never improved. My dad, on the other hand, has never once objected to my relationship with Steve. Dad has known I needed Steve from my very first date with him. The only thing he ever said to me was to remember that if I made vows to Nick, I had to keep them. And it was said in a loving way."

"You know I have to ask."

"And I should give you Steve's response to patently offensive questions that call my integrity into question! No. From the time I started seeing Nick, until his death, I have not violated my vows to Nick. Steve won't violate those vows, even though Nick was murdered."

"How hard are you pressing him?" Fran asked, with an arched eyebrow and a knowing smile.

"I suppose it depends on what you mean. I've asked him to make love and tried to tempt him, but never in a way that would lead to him doing anything which he felt was wrong. Does that make sense?"

"When we're talking about you and Steve, I don't expect anything to make sense except to the two of you. And you know that's part of my concern. He and Stephanie need a lot of help, and your relationship with him is very likely to interfere. That's why I asked you to take a step back."

"I know Steve, Fran. The thing you're going to have to do is keep him from becoming depressed over what happened."

"Please don't discuss his treatment with me, or with him, or with anyone else. You simply can't be involved."

"But you are going to treat them? Both?"

Fran nodded, "I think I have to. Anyway, it's almost time for my next appointment. You and I have quite a bit to talk about."

"We do."

Bethany drank the last of her Sprite, said 'goodbye' to Doctor Mercer, and left the office. Doctor Mercer made a few notes in the notebook she used when counseling Bethany, and then made additional notes in Steve's notebook. The entire situation was a mess and fraught with all kinds of danger. She finished making her notes, used her private bathroom, and was back at her desk when Cecilia announced that Angie had arrived for her session. Doctor Mercer got the correct notebook from her credenza, got up and went to the door. She opened it, and stepped out.

"Hi, Angie, go in and have a seat, please."

"OK," Angie said, moving through the door into Fran's office.

"Hi, Mrs. Stephens," Fran said, walking over to her. "How has she been?"

"She's keeping her regular schedule with church, martial arts, and work. She took her medication without arguing with me every day since her last appointment."

"Good. How are you and your husband doing?"

"About the same. Doctor Mike and his daughter stayed with Angie last Friday evening so my husband and I could go on a date. That helped a lot."

"Good. You should do that more often."

"That's what Mike said. He mentioned it to the priest at Angie's parish and there's a woman there who seems to be able to deal with Angie's situation. We're hoping they can become friends."

"OK. I'll talk with Angie. Are you going for coffee?"

"Yes. I'll be back in forty-five minutes."

"I'll see you then."

Mrs. Stephens left and Fran went back into her office, closing the door behind her.

"So, Angie, how are you doing today?"